i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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