just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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