Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
