I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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