I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Screwed.edu
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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