I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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