i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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