that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
