So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
