1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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