you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i drank out of a bidet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
