just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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