It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize