Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
