I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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