Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
