I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the day after is always just damage control
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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