I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
