I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize