we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
