Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
tell me about the fingering
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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