u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
