i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize