i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
