8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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