Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
