Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
North Korea, Best Korea!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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