she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
