Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize