I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
