He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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