Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
