I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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