You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
