I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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