omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
