i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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