i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
bring money and cleavage
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
