u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
