something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
