If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
false alarm, still single
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
