I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
