Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
