I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
