I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Where did you get a picture of my penis
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
