I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
