omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
