It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
