He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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