i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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