i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
