i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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