You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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