is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize