at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.