While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Pooping to opera.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
