He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
