Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
