I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His hands were made for my vagina.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize