Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
