am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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