i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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