but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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