You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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