This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
